It was Sunday, the 27th almost 9:00PM. I was feeling very tired but I was ready and curious to watch my first MKMMA webcast. At first I was sitting at the kitchen table. By its middle I decided to lay down on my bed while using the webinar on my phone. I closed my eyes and listened deeply into the words. Oh what words, what sayings. As I listened I felt relaxed as if I was meditating! Just perfect! I felt excited! I woke up in the middle of the night and the word in my mind summarising who I want to be or better how I want to be was JOYFUL. It was well printed in my mind.
Following day arrived. I looked at the slides again, I read and I did the daily tasks. It was holiday here and I had to spend time with my daughter. I missed not having more time to dedicate to the course.
In Tuesday morning I looked at all the material more carefully. Panic arose into me. I was overwhelmed. I felt a bit lost when I thought how I would deal with that amount of reading and my life. I took a deep breath and started. I dived into it and I didn’t do anything else. I read, re-read. I started to feel easier. I started to do my tasks. I guess I was settling in. I read the scroll, I read lesson one, I set still for 15 min but I wasn’t still ready for my DMP. I didn’t have a purpose. I didn’t know who exactly I want to be. These last weeks in my life I was feeling a bit lost with regard to this. I always had a question; why one day I wanted to pursue this and another day I wanted to pursue that, so on so forth. I had to find myself!! This course ‘fell’ in my life in the most appropriate time!
Wednesday I was already following a routine. I managed to set a time for everything I should do in a daily basis. I was getting organised, finally! And as a result I was feeling more comfortable too. I was ready to start drafting my DMP. Words just drifted from my thoughts. In one minute a DMP was being built, in another good part had been erased, until it reached a satisfactory end. I was finding myself maybe. I was feeling happy and I started to believe myself more. A drop of doubt still exists but the feeling of anxiety I was having for weeks has disappeared now. Im determined and I might be finding I can really control my power!
Thursday came along and it was tough. I was anxious, I was in the urge to work on my tasks and I couldn’t. There was too much going on in this household surrounded by illness! I read my scroll, I read the blue print. When the night came and finally I could do all the rest, I started to feel at ease. Am I becoming addicted to MKMMA?
Now today I am here writing all that is happening during my first week of this journey.
I am so looking forward to diving deeply into this new journey of building a new human being, a new Patricia. PatisPrinciples! 🙂